


keeping your feet off the ground (but never sneaking)

by protectoroffaeries



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 1, Canonical Character Death, Coping, Elves, Gen, Half-Elves, Loss, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 07:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13565328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectoroffaeries/pseuds/protectoroffaeries
Summary: “Velora doesn’t have siblings,” Beiro interrupts. Something bristles in Velora’s chest, something as sharp as daggers.“Yes, she does,” Enne says.“Two, right?” adds Thia.





	keeping your feet off the ground (but never sneaking)

**Author's Note:**

> catch me crying in the club about the twins & their little sister

There are a few clouds in the shapes of snowdrifts lazy making their way toward the midday sun when Thia says it. They’re relaxing in the trees behind Beiro’s house like the wild children they are, and Velora is completely at ease. She’s fourteen years old, it’s after lessons, she’s in the company of her closest friends - why shouldn’t she be?

And then Thia says it: “My older brother came home from university last night.” So casually. “He gave me five silver, like that makes up for him being gone so long.”

Velora knows Thia has an older brother; she’s even met him, once, because Thia has been one of Velora’s closest friends for going on four years now. Thia and Beiro and Enne, all three of them are Velora’s best friends. She doesn’t know what she would do without them.

Beiro props himself up against the edge of a branch and says, “It’s not his fault he has to go. How is he supposed to make a living without an education?” Velora has vivid memories of brilliant people who made their living without degrees in hand, but she doesn’t mention them. Thia’s brother, she knows, is no adventurer.

“He could visit at _all_ of his breaks,” Thia huffs.

“Thia,” says Enne in that quiet way of hers, “my sister lives with me, and she doesn’t give me half the attention your brother gives you.” It’s a good point. Velora could make the best point, but she doesn’t. It’s not fair, and she doesn’t want to think about it. Six years, and she still can’t think about it.

“I don’t know why either of you care,” says Beiro. He has three younger siblings that he seems to get on amicably with, which could be considered a feat for a fourteen year old, but then, Beiro isn’t the type to conform to stereotypes. It’s not his nature, which is one of the reasons Velora likes him so much.

Thia scowls, although Velora knows Beiro can’t see it. He’s higher on their tree than her, diagonal from her. He always climbs a bit too high.

Velora shifts against the trunk of her own tree, which is mere inches from Thia and Beiro’s, trying to appear thoughtful without being drawn into the conversation. Enne is on a thick branch to her left, a little catty-corner to where Velora and Thia face one another. She seems genuinely introspective on the topic of sibling relationships, which would almost be endearing, if Velora’s mind wasn’t somewhere else.

“What are your siblings like, then, Velora?” Thia prompts, a little irritably. Velora is surprised she remembered.

“Velora doesn’t have siblings,” Beiro interrupts. Something bristles in Velora’s chest, something as sharp as daggers, but she can’t tell if it’s sadness or anger. Is there any difference between the two when years have rusted the feeling?

“Yes, she does,” Enne says.

“Two, right?” adds Thia.

Velora looks down at her hands. They’re small and soft, stained with a bit of ink. Not the type of hands that notch arrows.

“Three, I suppose? But two.” And Velora feels more than sees her friends exchange confused looks, so she continues, “I have a brother-in-law.” Not that Velora knows much about Percy. He’s human, he’s noble, he loves her sister. What more there to know? If she knew any details, Velora knows she would have trouble keeping his name in her head, because humans die quickly and easily.

Beiro peers down at her from his perch, and Velora braces for the inevitable. “Two? When did you mention that?”

“Beiro, don’t be so thick. You know. They’re blunt—they’re half-humans,” Thia says, tongue catching on the slur, and Velora wonders if her proud brother felt fury at the same word, or if he grew numb to it.

“Oh,” says Beiro. _“Oh.”_ He does know. He does remember. Who forgets such scandalous gossip?

“What do you think, Velora?” murmurs Enne, smoothing out the awkwardness hanging in the air the only way she knows how; by ignoring it.

Velora isn’t cut out for this question. Her brother never went to university, her sister never lived a flight of stairs away. She knew them only through a handful of moments, and maybe she’ll see her sister again to fix that, but it’s impossible for her to get the whole of what her friends have. She blames that truth for the next words out of her mouth: “Vax is dead.”

Velora can’t divine the nature of the silence that falls around her friends. Is it shock? Pity? Contemplation? It doesn’t feel awkward, thankfully. So much feels awkward to Velora these days.

“Vax was your half-brother,” Thia says eventually. It isn’t a question.

“Vax _is_ my brother,” Velora corrects, “and Vex is my sister, and Vax is dead, and Vex is married to a human nobleman in a far away place, and I have an owlbear feather and a snake belt that say _I’m sorry_ and _I love you_ , but the thing about things is they don’t speak as loud as voices, and I’m not as sneaky as I thought I was.”

There’s a longer silence now. Velora can’t put her finger on the nature of this one, either. “Velora, what the fuck,” Beiro says eventually. _Fuck_ is the word everyone her age has latched onto, but Velora finds herself saying _shit_ more often.

“Can’t you see she’s traumatized?” Thia snaps at him. Velora flinches, because she’s probably right.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Enne says, and it’s genuine. She lays her hand over Velora’s and squeezes it, her version of comfort.

“It’s been a few years,” Velora says, as if that makes any difference. She still misses Vax. She feels like she’ll spend the rest of her life missing both of the twins.

“What… what happened to him?” asks Beiro. Thia shoots him a glare that he still can’t see.

Velora opens her mouth to answer and hears Vex murmuring that their brother is a hero, hears Dad, their dad, saying he was a good man, hears Mom, not Vax and Vex’s mom, _her_ mom, whispering he’s in a better beyond. No one knew him as well as Vex, so Velora trusts her comment the most, but as for what happened to him? They’ve never discussed it. Velora knows, but she can’t remember who explained it to her, if anyone did. Probably Dad, their dad, and what would he know?

“You don’t have to answer,” Enne says.

“I’m sorry,” adds Beiro. He might even mean it.

“They were adventurers,” Velora settles on, “and sometimes, adventures don’t go as planned.”

“I guess that’s all the more reason for my brother to go to university,” Thia says, looking chastised and shaken all at once. Velora feels bad, but only a little bit.

Velora looks up, and those snowdrift clouds are still passing by. The air is still heavy with the humidity of the later afternoon. The world is still relaxed, comfortable, ignorant — or maybe all too knowing. She likes being up in the tree; there’s a peace to having your feet off the ground. If she has to talk about this (and she doesn’t, really, Enne said she didn’t, but she feels like she _should_ ), she can’t think of a better spot to do so.

“My brother would’ve hated university,” she comments, ignoring the look of surprise on Thia’s face.

“You and him have that in common, yeah?” says Beiro, clearly trying to atone for his perceived misstep. Velora smiles, though not much. He’s right.

“Yeah, we do,” she says, and then, “remember that trick I pulled on Madam Naïlo? He taught me that. My sister taught me another one, the one with the paper dragon.” Velora leans forward, careful to keep her balance. It’s not comfortable like this, nor is it easier. She doesn’t know if it can be, either, no matter what her mom says.

Beiro laughs. “The one you used on Iryn?”

“Oh, Gods, his face when it breathed fire!” says Thia, laughing too.

“You gave him quite the fright,” Enne muses, grinning. “Your sister would approve, wouldn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Velora tells her, “I think they both would.”

The conversation dissolves into a discussion about paper dragons and magic tricks that use real magics. Velora knows a few more, ones she picked up from neither Vex nor Vax, and she demonstrates one that requires nothing but a quick hand. Beiro declares she could pluck a bird out of the air if she wanted to, but Enne says birds belong in the sky, and Velora agrees, to a point. Birds walk, some can even swim, but none of them belong in her hands.

It doesn’t bother Velora that Thia mentioned her brother; she’s done it a thousand times. It bothers her that this is the first time she’s been able to mention her own. It bothers her that Whitestone is a thousand miles away. And it bothers her that she has twice as much as the twins ever got, just because they’re half. She doesn’t know what to do with those feelings, can hardly piece together a deep meaning, if there is one. She thinks maybe Vex is bothered as well, even with castle walls around her. Maybe they’ll die bothered. Maybe Vax did, too. 

 


End file.
